Monkey See, Monkey Do…
Have you ever thought about the role that influence plays in our lives?
Everyone is trying to buy or sell influence. In the social media world, we have influencers—some with millions of followers. The truth is, at any given time, we are being influenced by people, and we are influencing people—whether we realize it or not. Sometimes, I catch myself watching someone closely and admiring something about them. They probably have no idea that, at that moment, they are influencing me. Maybe it was an act of kindness, some words of encouragement they spoke into someone, or a killer smile that lit up the room. Much of emotional intelligence is simply being aware of who’s in the room and understanding how our words and actions impact the people around us.
When I was growing up, my parents were very concerned about the kind of friends I hung out with. My mother had this saying, “Birds of a feather flock together." I didn’t like my parents vetting my friends, but in time, I began to understand the power of influence—for good or bad.
As an example, in 8th grade, I made friends with a kid named Neal. Neal lived life on the edge. He didn’t play by the rules, and I thought that was kind of cool at the time. Neal liked to steal things. Neal and I were both into fishing. We used to go down to Jim’s Sports Shop in Gilroy and buy fishing gear. The first time we went there, I bought a couple of lures. After we walked out of Jim’s Sports Shop, Neal opened up his jacket, and it was full of stolen fishing gear. I could hardly believe my eyes! Neal said, “There’s an art to stealing.” After several trips to Jim’s Sports Shop, we were loaded up with stolen fishing gear. I thought it was funny, but I was too afraid to steal anything myself.
One day, I went to the sports shop by myself to buy some bait. The owner of the shop pulled me aside. He introduced himself to me and said he had been watching me and my friend. He went on to say, “You seem like a nice kid, but I think your friend has sticky fingers.” I was stunned by his words. He warned me, “If you or your friend steal anything from my store, I’m going to call the police, and you will both go straight to juvenile hall.”
That was enough warning for me. I never went back to that store again with Neal. I decided shortly thereafter that Neal was fun but not the kind of person I should hang out with. Years later, Neal was involved in an armed robbery. He tried to shoot it out with the cops and was killed. I’ve often thought about what would have happened if I had continued to hang out with Neal. Influence is powerful!
In 1 Corinthians 11:1, the Apostle Paul throws down the gauntlet. He says, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."
I don’t think Paul was bragging or claiming to be a perfect person, but he was saying, I’m doing the best I can to follow the example of Jesus. That’s what every Christian is called to do.
I want you to think for a moment about the people in your life—family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, schoolmates, etc. Are you influencing them for good? People listen to what we say, but they pay more attention to how we act.
I recently heard John Maxwell, a renowned leader, author, and man of God, talk about influence. He said he tries to bring value to every conversation and to every situation he’s a part of. This got me thinking—Am I, Steve Bombaci, bringing value to the people in my life? Is my influence positive, negative, or neutral?
There are a lot of negative influences around us. For this reason, we should be on a mission to bring as much positive influence to those around us as possible.
Jesus put it this way, Matthew 5:14-16 (NLT) "You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."
Keep shining your light,
Steve